2019 – No yawning allowed

It’s late December so it must be time for the annual humble-brag.  My followers here at pdx-i.net insisted.  Both of them.

One thing 2019 was not was boring.  It felt full-throttle from start to finish.   We managed several home improvement projects inside and out from a new fence, 2 sheds, painted almost every room inside, painted the exterior, several significant landscaping changes, and a garage remodel.  So many contractors were in and out it felt like visiting Jackie and Rich’s house.   What were we thinking?  I think it was “let’s get this over with so we can enjoy the place.”  Thankfully things have settled down in large part because we blew through the budget and literally have just enough money left over to buy a couple of Americanos.

May and June were also not boring.  We welcomed Emilia Susanne Toner (Millie) and Gwendolyn Lucille Toner (Gwennie) into the world about 6 weeks apart.  I’m at a loss for words for how grateful we are that we added 2 new grandchildren who are healthy, happy and well cared for.  The pictures tell the story.   Their cousins Kaden and Karter keep the family entertained with their observations about school, sports, and life in general.  High marks for being very nice young gentleman.

August was not boring.  Donna turned 60 and we threw a backyard party for friends, family, and neighbors.  Seymour and Smith brought the good times along with the classic rock.  We got several compliments about how awesome the music was, but the main thing was the good vibe and Donna got to share her special day with many of you.

Also in August Donna and I met up with my cousin Jim in San Francisco to see the Giants and toured the city over a long weekend.  Then off on a train ride to Seattle to see the Mariners as well as attend the annual family reunion at Lake Margaret.

Sadly, the cycle of life took our beloved Verda Ann Toner from us this year.  She was a special lady and an extremely talented bridge player.  We miss you, Verda.

In spite of some challenging kidney stone episodes in the Spring, Donna continues to not have a middle gear.  It’s either full bore or plop.  No rest for the weary.  She’s still in the heat of the battle at Cambia, and rolls up her sleeves and kicks butt inside and out when she gets home.  She’s loving the new yard.  I’m not sure the neighbors are so sure because of all the shrubs that got taken out and my constant trailer loads to S&H logging, but she’s got the vision and a plan.  Give it 3 years, it will be stunning.  Now that we have our arms around the situation a little better with the house and yard, I fully expect some serious activity in the watercolor area plus her metal shop downstairs.

I managed to remain employed throughout the year, but I switched jobs twice.  At the tail end of my career, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t like to be bossed around.  It’s my new requirement.  Don’t boss me around and we’ll be fine.   I’m currently contracting with Venmo based out of San Francisco, but most of my peers are in New York City.  They are all very young and super smart and I’m, …  a contractor.

When I’m not working I try to sneak in guitar lessons, record music and play fantasy baseball.  With some success the past couple of years I might humble-brag.  Can you say back-to-back championships for the Cogswell Cogs?

Now and again I drop new tunes on my youtube channel.  I’m not exactly sure why.  I think I have the same two followers there.

Pickles loves her back yard and the critters out there.  She likes to pick them up and give them a fling.  She’s slowing down a bit which is good because I don’t think I could find her if she wandered off into the woods.

Donna and I are counting down to retirement, currently shooting for May of 2021.  We could retire now if we wanted to but we’d have to live in the car and Donna doesn’t want to.  We love the new (old) home, really enjoy living by the college and frequently take in activities over there.

We are both doing less Facebook and more Twitter.  We’re not sure why because it raises our blood pressure.

Another thing that raises my blood pressure (but in a good way) is the Oregon Ducks.  Bring on Wisconson.  Why, we should be able to beat them.  They don’t even know how to vote!

We hope this missive finds you in good health and surrounded by people that love you.

 

 

‘The Talk’

About my sophomore year in high school, I had developed a pretty bad attidude.  I don’t remember exactly why I was so negative but I do remember the mindset of being anti-establishment on any/every issue whether it made sense or not, and the ultimate goal was to get away with being as lazy as possible.   Then I got a lecture from Mr. Cramer.

Actually it wasn’t just me that got the lecture, it was the whole class, but it was because of a lame comment I had made in class – something to the effect of “what’s the point of doing this?”

Mr. Cramer was just trying to teach Algebra II and I was getting in his way a little bit.  What happened next is something I’ve remembered for over 40 years, so he must have felt this was the time to seize the opportunity.

We were only about 5 minutes into a 45 minute class when I shared my unwelcome question.  I remember Cramer then stopped writing on the board and turned around and said “Well, let’s talk about that.”  From that point on there was no math lesson that day, just talk, mostly him.  He pulled up a stool and abandoned the chalk board.

In a very calm manner he talked about attitudes that lead to success in life.  How he was coaching his own kids along these lines.  What he said was basically, put your mind in this place.  Think about doing what you’re asked to do plus a little extra.  People are impressed by that.  If your mom asks you to take out the garbage, take out the garbage and sweep the patio.  If your dad is expecting you to mow the lawn by Saturday, mow it by Thursday and pull a few weeds too.  Do a little more than asked.

He spent the next 40 minutes ditching his entire lesson to talk about life and attitude and what will get you ahead vs. what will not.  And he did it in such a calm manner that was basically a discussion with us.  He didn’t preach.  I was captivated and probably a little embarrassed in the moment, but I always remembered that he seized that moment and felt it was a good use of time to get our minds straight at the expense of a day’s lesson.   In retrospect, that was pretty visionary of him because I remember nothing else about that class.  Just that one day when he was willing to reach out and try to touch our mindset and appeal to our inner good.  He was also intelligent enough to know that if he had yelled or taken a different approach to the discussion he would have lost me.

I not only remember that ‘lecture’ that day, I’ve tried very hard to apply it to my own life throughout the years.  I can site several examples where it has helped me tremendously at work and set me apart from peers.

Thank you Mr. Cramer.  That was one great math lesson.

 

 

 

 

It’s Time to Shun

First, I’d like to differentiate between republicans who may have voted for Trump vs. members of the Trump cult.  There is a difference.  That latter group, despite 3 years of hard evidence of corruption, incompetence, racism, misogyny, and lies that are demonstrably false on a daily basis, continue to support him.  It’s Bhagwan-esque.

I have several friends in the first group and we clearly disagree but remain friends.  The Trump cult members however, are beyond any kind of redemption.  Nothing gets through.  He literally could shoot someone on 5th Ave. and they would continue to support him because that’s what cult members do.

The one and only way to deal with cult members is a total shun.  It gave me great pleasure to read about Alan Dershowitz complaining “I can’t go to parties anymore.  Nobody will talk to me!”  Right, Alan.  You’re being shunned.  And it’s well deserved.

This is my strategy moving forward.  I recently unfriended a Trump cultist on Facebook for the offense of being a Trump cultist.  When it comes to social media, for me it’s quality not quantity.  Nothing sends the message better than telling someone to go affiliate with their other cult members and GTFO.

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts on… work

Having just switched jobs, I’ve been spending a fair amount of time reflecting on my 39 year career which is pushing the 23 mile mark of this marathon, aka “the wall.”   I’ve been thinking about the highs and the lows, jobs I liked best, the ones I thrived in, the ones I didn’t.  More importantly, why?

I’ve been fortunate to work in the so called “high tech” industry at several companies that had decent pay, benefits, advancement opportunities, awesome co-workers and challenging assignments.  I don’t have too many complaints.  But after this much time and having been around the block on this bicycle more than a few times, I know very well what works for me and what doesn’t.

Just to give you the basic history, it’s been:

  • 12 years at Boeing, mostly as an engineer specializing in Flight Controls software
  • 1.5 years at a Dutch Company (Oce´ Oregon) developing printer software
  • 18 years at Tektronix/Xerox, 3 as a Tools Engineer and 15 as a Manager of a Tools group (Printer division)
  • 7 years at Cambia Healthcare doing Build/Release work, then AWS Cloud DevOps work (Healthcare websites / middleware)
  • 2 weeks at ComScore, a media measurement company doing AWS Cloud DevOps

So the industry exposure has encompassed aerospace, printers, healthcare and now media measurement.  Definitely some interesting assignments along the way.

It’s fairly standard – and I’ve always had – exempt” status at every place I’ve worked.  What that really means is that you can be required to work 60 hours and they only have to pay you for 40.  But it also comes with some flexibility that non exempt employees don’t normally get like flex time and (occasionally) comp time.

The thing about exempt status is that you have to be mindful about work-life balance or else the next thing you know, you’re living the job.  It can take over your life and not in a healthy way.  Having said that it’s fairly standard for people in the business I’m in to work 44+ hours just to show you’re putting in a little extra and not a slacker.

Dr. Katz and Uncertainty

One of the best classes I ever took as an employee of Tektronix was an all day off-site taught by Dr. Ralph Katz based on a book he had just written: The Human Side of Managing Technological Innovation.

A couple of the main points from the class had to do with managing uncertainty with your direct reports, and additionally how positive feedback can be a strong motivator.  Even the little things that amount to positive feedback.  This is backed by data from survey after survey.

Since taking the class I’ve been pretty mindful of management’s ratio of carrot vs. stick.  Dr. Katz went into great detail about successful projects where the leadership had great motivators.  That seems to happen when they can get the employees to buy in to mission and get everyone rowing in the same direction.  When I was in management I tried to keep these points in mind.

Regarding Katz’s emphasis on managing uncertainty, his main point was that uncertainty was bad.  People perform at peak levels when they know what’s ahead.  When you’re in an environment where the company is downsizing and you don’t know if you’re going to be getting a pink slip in the next round of layoffs, it’s hard to be at your highest productivity level.

The thing is, without exception, every company I’ve worked for had downsizing.  Boeing went from 80,000 employees in 1980 to 56,000 employees in 1986.  There had to have been at least 2 rounds of layoffs per year there.  Oce’ shut down after a year and a half and the whole team took severance packages.  Tektronix and Xerox had some strong runs of hiring in the 1990’s, but also several years of painful downsizing.  From 2000-2012 it seemed like a slow, steady leak until the dam finally burst.  Cambia has had a few rounds of RIFs over the years.  Normally pretty small in size, but still, it’s not like the old days when Ward Cleaver used to grab his briefcase, go off to work and pretty much work at the same job for 40 years and never worry about it.

The biggest failing I see in companies right now is that they spend exorbitant amounts of energy explaining “The Company Strategy” because they think that’s a path to get employees’ buy-in to the plan and be productive.  In most cases it’s a huge waste of time.  The reason is because once a company goes beyond about 3 layers of management, I have a harder time relating to the top level strategy issues.  Those aren’t my day to day problems.  The issues in my sphere of influence are very different.  The honest truth is, I really don’t care about the company strategy.  Maybe I should, but I don’t.  When there’s a company meeting at the VP level or beyond, and the Sr. Management Team is talking strategy, people aren’t thinking about questioning it.  What they are thinking is, this all sounds great, but… will there be more layoffs?  Do I get to keep my house?  That’s the uncertainty that’s not managed.

I realize they cannot call out a guarantee to everyone that they will have a job next month.  Very likely they don’t even know that.  But when the layoff cloud is hanging over the campus, 75% of the people who are fretting about getting pink slipped don’t need to be fretting.  And management could address this but they choose not to.

What works

Empowerment

I don’t care if the job is in high tech or not, people normally don’t like to be micromanaged.  I especially don’t.  I’ve had some great managers who got this and I feel like I’ve done some of my best work when left alone for week(s) at a time to go develop something and then deliver it by whatever the deadline is.  I don’t mind intermediate check ins every week or couple of weeks, but basically give me a task and the get out of my way and let me go do it.  Don’t treat me like if left alone, the project for sure will get screwed up.

The product matters

Aerospace had its downside at times but for sure the systems I worked on were interesting.  Flight Controls especially.  I can’t get on an airplane anymore without thinking about what all is going on with the black boxes that control the wing surfaces, the hydraulics, the fail-over systems which are dual and triple redundant, the fault reporting.  All of it.  I found it fascinating.  I also found printers and printer interpreters to be fairly interesting.  The architecture isn’t rocket science, but it’s very complex in many ways to get those dots of ink to find the right spot on a piece of moving paper.  Conversely I have to say, I did not find healthcare the least bit interesting.  I never completely understood why we had scores of development teams and the only website I was keenly aware of was regence.com.  Come to find out there’s a ton of big data processing and you have to have sites for providers and customers, etc.  It’s extremely complex for sure.  I never took the time to really understand the business because I found it boring.  Like, really boring.  I think the product does matter.

Once the engineering work was completed on the 767, Boeing held a “first flight” event at Paine Field in Everett.  When you get to watch your product take off on a flight for the first time, there’s a lot of pride in that.  (As a side note, the landing gear never retracted on first flight — oops.  Other than that, it went well).

Work life balance

I’ve always been willing to put in extra hours .. to a point.  This is just Health 101.  I’ve never worked at one of the really cutthroat places where it’s so competitive that practically every is putting in 60+ hours per week (Amazon, Microsoft, Google come to mind), but my sense of humor about extra hours goes south if it becomes expected behavior.  Sure, give me a project and a deadline.  I’ll get you there.  But if it’s a short stroke deadline don’t expect that I’m going to pull a rabbit out of my ass every time to meet your unrealistic deadline.  Stuff happens in business, sure.  Sometimes you gotta do it.  But not every time.

A Collaborative Work Environment

I’ve never been tempted to work at these startups where they put ping-pong tables everywhere and it’s hard to tell the difference between work and a country club.  Most of those places were short-lived.  I’m not there to play games, I’m there to work.  But I do really think it’s important to have a highly collaborative work environment.  Come to think of it, all of the companies I’ve worked have had this.  Some better than others, but overall I’ve worked with some exceptional engineers and learned a ton, and in most cases people have been very agreeable about mentoring new starts and helping others outside of their normal area of responsibility.

Positive Strokes

I’ve had a few situations where the sign that says “The beatings will continue until morale improves” rang a little too true.  I understand about accountability, but you have to balance that with positive strokes too or else it gets to be an emotional drain.

What doesn’t work

Micromanagement

The opposite of empowerment, the micromanager feels like he/she needs to be in on all the details of what I’m working on and wants a daily status.  I’ve even had multiple status checks within the same day.  The problem is, there’s a psychological aspect to this. Micromanagement has the opposite effect on my productivity that they are after.  When I’m empowered, I work extra because I take pride in delivering. They get extra hours from my exempt status.  If the manager is checking in on me every 15 minutes then at 5 o’clock I go log off. I’m done!

Meetings and Interruptions

Most jobs I’ve had I found myself splitting time between helping users and doing development work.  I enjoy both but the latter requires blocks of uninterrupted time.  Don’t talk to me out of one side of your mouth and tell me how important the project is and then schedule me for an endless list of bullshit meetings that I’m not needed in.  Your job is to make sure I get those blocks of uninterrupted time and if you screw that up, chances are your deadline is in jeopardy.  Project work takes concentration.  Many times it requires deep thought.  It’s frustrating to get started on your project and get your mind settled into deep thought only to be pinged unnecessarily for that TPS report.  Okay, here’s your TPS report, but now it’s going to take me 20 minutes to get back to where I was.  I’ve lost all my shells.  Some have timed out and had aliases defined.  I have to encounter all the overhead it took me to get to where I was before I was so rudely interrupted.  Not cool.

Extreme Multi Tasking

Every job I’ve had has required some level of multi tasking.  It’s pretty much a given.  It’d be great to be on a project and work only on that project, but it’s rarely the case.   But here’s the bottom line.  I can either do 3 things for you and do them pretty well, or I can take on 10 things and do them all poorly.  That is just a fact.  You decide.  So think carefully about putting me on that extra project for “political reasons — to take their excuses away” and consequently add 4 extra meetings a week to my calendar.

The Leash is too Short

Another way of describing the dreaded “on-call” assignment.  I hate on-call.  Hate it.  I understand why a business can sometimes require it, but that doesn’t make me deal with it any better.  Having to always worry about where your phone is 24/7 in case someone might call with an urgent issue really blows chips.  If you accidentally leave your phone in the kitchen and go outside and mow the lawn and then realize you’ve been away from it for a 1/2 hour — that’s a little concerning because they keep track if you’ve responded in the 15 minute required time frame.  There’s additional stress about keeping the phone charged at all times and the ring volume high enough for fear of missing a call. There are potential career consequences for missing a call. What if I’m grocery shopping, have a cart half full and the phone rings from work? Plan on leaving the cart where it is and heading home. When planning your social calendar, figured on keeping all meaningful events off of it for that week.

I found it nerve racking, annoying, and no way to live if there are choices out there.

The Bottom Line

Life is short.  I have some friends I play Fantasy Baseball with and a few of them work in sports related jobs.  One of them is a ticket coordinator for Oregon State and gets to travel with the sports teams.  I remember when he came back after 14 days in Omaha. OSU’s baseball team had just won its third College World Series, which was a real nail biter as I recall from watching it on TV.  His quote was “I’ll take life experiences over money EVERY TIME!”  He’s right.

2018 – A New Chapter Begins

Probably a lot of things happened in 2018, but I can only remember from about July onward.  That was the day that, like Dudley Moore in the movie ’10’ waking up to the sound of Mexican trumpets blaring outside his window, I had an epiphany.  This plan of buying a pied-à-terre downtown was all wrong.  My head leaped up three feet and much to Donna’s surprise I said:

“I’m ready.  I’m ready to sell this house.”

“Wha?”

“I’m ready to sell the house.”

“Okay, give me a minute.”

We had just been furniture shopping for our eventual property addition of a condo downtown.  I think the prospect of adding more furniture to our list of possessions got me to thinking seriously about what we were signing up for.

My original reason for moving to Tualatin had to do with trying to get into a top school district.  Problem is, my youngest graduated 12 years ago.  I no longer have kids going to school in the district.  That reason no longer holds.

There were other reasons to stay.  Great neighbors.  The house was an excellent place to host functions which we did with some frequency.   Tualatin has great parks.  The downside is it’s a long ways to downtown for work and we have a few years left — at least.

So I won’t bore you with all of the details of the move but here’s the summary.

  • Three house transaction.  Donna’s rental, my house + new house
  • Of course we found the home we really wanted before either of our houses had sold.  In fact, it took several weeks before my house was presentable enough to even be up for sale.
  • Donna’s house closed in September
  • Our new home closed in October
  • My house closed at the end of November

It worked out almost perfectly, but not without some drama along the way.  Our realtor, normally a cool, calm and collected character once asserted “You guys are risk takers!”   In retrospect, he had a good point.  Regrets?  Nope.  This time the chips fell our way.

In a move this size everyone has a role.  Mine was head sherpa.  Donna’s was head box packer and painter.  By the end of October we were two exhausted souls.   We had some very timely help from my children who always seemed to come lend a hand at the perfect time.  And these were not easy assignments.   Really heavy stuff being packed out of the attic and basement.

For that help we are very, very grateful.  Thank-you kids and grandkids, one and all.

Our new (to us) place is a 1950’s ranch style home but it has a basement.   The previous owners did a great job of keeping the upstairs updated (the master shower is luxurious) but the garage and downstairs, not so much.  We’ve come up with the term “our 25% fixer-upper.”   In addition, it was a downsize move for us.  Not by a lot, but still.  Several truckloads to the Salvation Army.

After we moved in we realized 3 of the 4 doors to the house didn’t work.  However, they had installed an extremely high-tech chicken coop with solar panels in the back that worked perfectly.  Go figure.  Priorities I guess.

The house sits on close to .5 acres and is ideal for someone who is into gardening (hint, not me).  We’ve had our hands full getting some of the new projects going but it’s progressing along and we’re moving forward and not looking back.  Donna loves her new commute.  15 minutes into work.   We’re also two blocks from Lewis and Clark College so we get a lot of hipsters skate-boarding by the house in ski caps.

The place often reminds me of my younger years.  I always had wood stoves back then and this place has one so I find myself grabbing the old axe and making a trip out to the woodpile to fetch some firewood.  The garage remodel alone will keep me busy for 6 months.  At the moment I’m tearing out brown paneling, green carpet, baseboard heaters and having garage doors installed (not one, but two — front and back).

Oh, and we have leaves and fruit trees.  But lots and lots of leaves.

I would be extremely remiss if I didn’t mention the wonderful news that we are about to welcome not one, but TWO new family members in 2019.  In fact, within a week of each other I learned that Emily and Ari are both expecting.  I believe the due-dates are in the May/June timeframe.

This will double the grandchild count and boy are we looking forward to that!  We have a swing set out back and grandpa’s going to have a tractor so come on over and play on the farm.

I am reminded that we were very privileged to host two final gatherings at the Meier Drive house.  The first was a Fritts/Hellier family reunion in July which was so memorable mainly because people who hadn’t seen each other in decades got a chance to connect.  I met all of Donna’s relatives who could make it and some are now my most frequent “like”ers on my non-stop barrage of #resist political posts.  We see eye-to-eye, me and these #NeverTrumpers.  Oh and we had music on display.  There is music in the family bloodline that is for certain.

Finally, we had one last hurrah at Meier drive with my side of the family when we hosted my sister Donna’s retirement party.  Donna got to retire!  We were so happy we wanted to shout it from the mountaintop — and I think she was too.  It was fun to see the smile on her face connecting with old friends and family.  A very special day indeed.

I’m sure I’m missing a ton of stuff but as I mentioned at the start, the rest of the year is a complete blur.

Let the new chapter begin.  Both of us are all-in and ready for it.

B&D

Cirque Impressions

Amazon puts on an annual conference in Las Vegas called re:Invent.  But the conference, which boasts 50,000 engineering geek types is a blog post for another day.

One can only take so much techie talk in a week, no matter how much of a geek we are.  In search of some balance for my week, I discovered my calendar was free Wednesday evening so I scanned for some shows on the strip.  People who know me well know that I’m a Beatles fan.  For me it’s a combination of the Beatles music — which is arguably the best catalog of rock music produced in a decade — and Beatlemania, which is best depicted by videos of screaming girls in the Ed Sullivan Theater.

As luck would have it, the Mirage had a nightly Cirque du Soleil called “Beatles Love” which piqued my interest.  The deciding factor was the Mirage was easily walkable – right across the street from where I was staying.  This was my very first Cirque du Soleil experience so I was looking forward to it, though I was wishing Donna could have come with me on this trip.  She would have really loved it.

Sometimes being a Beatles fan comes at a price.  I think I may have found one of a handful of G rated shows in Las Vegas.  Secretly I was hoping for PG-13 at least, I mean c’mon, this is Las Vegas!

The first thing I noticed was the intimate nature of the stage.  I bought a mid-range priced ticket yet I was in the 2nd row, literally 5 feet from the performers at times.  The stage itself is small.  I was wondering how they’d navigate the show around such a small space.

For those who haven’t seen it and are wondering, think Woodstock meets Fantasia meets Grease meets Ringling Brothers meets a Stanley Kubrick film.  The writers intentionally used Beatles lyrics to tell a story – with dance like you’d see in a musical.  Other times with high-flying acrobatics with actors in costume.

The choreography was colorful as you’d expect for a 60’s based show.  Blues, reds, yellows, bright greens everywhere.  What caught me off guard a little bit was how imaginative it all was.  Nothing was too weird costume-wise for “The Beatles — Love” similar to Kubrick’s “A Clockwork Orange”.  Case in point, the segment they put together around Ringo’s “Octopus’s Garden.”  White octopus ghost like figures, brightly lit, hanging from ropes, and then larger ones that turned out to have humans underneath them getting ready to do some acrobatic moves.

Volkswagen had a noticeable role in the show with multiple VW bugs and vans when it came time to reminisce about Woodstock and the hippie movement.

As you probably guessed, there were high trapeze type acts with ropes, platforms, ladders, and long bungee chords.  The athleticism itself is impressive.  These are people with about 3-4% body fat.  Sometimes in the moment there’s so much going on above you with the acrobatics and straight ahead with the dance choreography that you’re not sure what to focus on.

As an infrastructure geek, I’m continually amazed at the stage design and what it must take to move all those parts and pieces around to fit so perfectly for different segments of the show.  Now that would be an interesting engineering project to work on.

The show covered many Beatles favorites so think super imaginative story telling and choreography around Here Comes the Sun, Penny Lane, Twist and Shout, Help!, Blackbird, and Hey Jude.   My favorite though was Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.  A female trapeze artist in a white dress with shiny lights on it everywhere soared across the landscape to that song, twisting, turning and doing acrobatic moves that catch you off guard.

I’d recommend the show for families or if you’re super Beatles curious like I am.

 

 

Thanks for the memories

It’s just a house.  Or is it?

Facing divorce in 2006 I had a tough decision to make.  Should I let the house that I just recently bought go or find a way to hang on?  It didn’t make any sense for one person to live in 3400 square feet.  But I’m stubborn and I just bought the thing and I really liked it, so I found a way to stay in it.  Was it the best financial decision I ever made?  Nope.  Hindsight clearly says I should have severely downsized and bought back in after the market recovered.  But you can’t time the market and kick yourself for that.

Was it one of the best life decisions I’ve ever made?  You bet.

I cannot count the number of social functions we’ve held at this place.  Memories don’t have a price-tag.  I got remarried in this house.  We’ve hosted Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving, birthdays, family reunions, grandkids overnighters, college football / Duck games (some more memorable than others), several concerts with various band configurations I’ve been in, and quite a few friends gatherings just because.  It’s been truly amazing.  With Donna’s vision, we’ve been able to transform this place into the type of place that is perfect for gatherings.  I don’t regret one second or one penny.   Memories.

In my old neighborhood, you kind of sort of knew who your neighbors were but you didn’t socialize with them much.  In this neighborhood we did – in spades.  Social functions are happening all the time and lifelong friendships have been made.  You can’t put a price tag on that either.

There’s been some tough times too.  I had a stroke in the kitchen in 2013 where I laid on the floor wondering if the spinning would ever stop.  I injured my back doing minor chores and spent the better part of 2 months crawling around it.  Donna and I both saw job changes shortly after we were married in 2010.  We got through the Great Recession in this house – together.

While it’s been a fantastic 25 years in Tualatin, 16 of them on Meier Drive, Donna and I feel like it’s time to downsize a little bit and get a place together that we can call our own.  The original reason for moving to Tualatin had to do with School District.  I haven’t had kids in the school district in over 12 years.  I used to be Vice President of Little League baseball and I felt like I knew everyone in town.  Now I head into town and hardly recognize anyone.  The drive to and from work for Donna is a 5 times a week burden.  Honestly, the hardest part about leaving will be seeing a little bit less of our amazing neighbors who we’ve become close friends with these past few years.  But we’re determined to make it only a little bit less!

So we’re both selling our houses and have our sights set on a new place up near Lewis and Clark College where we plan to make more memories with old friends and new.  A lot more memories!  That’s what it’s all about.

We’re crossing our fingers everything holds together so we land in the new place.  In the mean time, I have a house for sale that if you’re interested, give me a jingle and let’s make a deal!

Here’s the listing: https://www.redfin.com/OR/Tualatin/10555-SW-Meier-Dr-97062/home/26700654

meier-1

ETOPS

My first professional job that didn’t involve cleaning restrooms was at Boeing Commercial Airplane Company. I started in June of 1980, at the tail end of the 757/767 programs. I worked in Everett, Washington initially, and got to participate in the rollout of the very first 767, as well as first flight. Those two events in particular were very memorable.

At the time, for safety reasons there were strict rules about the routes that twin-engine aircraft could fly over.  The 767, being a twin engine aircraft, was not certified to fly to Hawaii for example. The 747 could because it has 4 engines. The 747 can actually lose 3 engines and still takeoff, land, and fly thousands of miles just fine.

I’ve been out of the game for over 2 decades so I’m not current on avionics capability, but I do know that each ‘system’ on commercial aircraft is either dual or triple redundant, meaning, if a system fails, there’s one right behind it to take over including full hydraulics.

Critical systems like the avionics that control the flap/slat electronic unit (FSEU) are triple redundant because the airplane cannot takeoff or land without it.  Less critical systems like the stabilizer/trim unit are dual redundant because a total failure of both systems, while inconvenient for the pilot, would not necessarily translate into a catastrophic event.

A recent trip to Hawaii on a twin-engine 737 is what brought me down this memory lane.  I have to admit feeling a little uneasy about a 6 hour flight, mostly across the Pacific Ocean on a twin engine aircraft.

Before I left Boeing in 1992, they had certified several twin-engine aircraft for trips over ocean waters to places like Europe and Hawaii via a program called Extended Operations, or ETOPS.   If you read the article, ETOPS has to do with extreme safety around the all aspects of the engine.

Internally, Boeing employees referred to ETOPS as “Engines Turn or Passengers Swim.”  Apparently the acronym caught on because I saw reference to it in the Wikipedia article.

I’ve been inside many 747’s but never gotten to take a flight on one and was hoping that maybe the trip to Hawaii would afford me my first exposure to that.  No such luck.  Instead, they created the 737-800 with ETOPS certified engines.  The 737 is not my favorite aircraft to take a trip on.  The seats are tightly spaced, there’s only one aisle and one lav for a large coach section.   I guess I’ll have to book a flight to Singapore or something to get that privilege.

 

Kennedy

I watched the State of the Union response given by Joseph Kennedy III and thought his remarks scored high from a shared values perspective. But unlike some, I’m not ready to get on the Kennedy 2020 train just yet.

I love the fact that he’s young and has the potential for energizing the youth vote, but my gut tells me Kamala Harris is a better choice.

My grandmother, Marcella Toner, held a leadership position in the democratic party in Eugene during the campaign of 1960 and was assigned to meet/greet then senator John F. Kennedy at the Eugene airport during a campaign stop. She was rewarded with a signed Christmas card from president Kennedy after his nail-biter election win in 1961. That Christmas card used to make its way to the mantle over the fireplace every year. Can’t blame them for being proud of that event.

Marcella Toner with senator Kennedy from Massachusetts on the campaign trail in 1960

Grandfather Robert Toner shaking hands with senator Kennedy

But I’m not a supporter of political dynasties. I thought Ted Kennedy served our country well and that’s great, but nobody was more relieved when Jeb Bush dropped out of the race in 2016. Part of the reason Trump won was because people were loathe to keep feeding the Clinton and Bush dynasties.

Joe Kennedy III seems like his grandfather RFK in many ways, and I find that admirable. He has a reputation in the House already as a workhorse. But fair or not, he’ll need to prove over time that he’s not in the position he’s in due his family name.

In the meantime, I continue to be impressed with the intelligence, composure, and commitment to social justice issues of Harris. She’s 53 and a while not seasoned in the Senate for very long, she was the attorney general of California from 2011-2017. She’s impressive on TV. Should she decide to run, I think she’ll have a great chance at the nomination. The time seems right for a youth movement. Biden and Sanders are too old. I’m sure both think they could win in a general election and they are probably right, but their age alone will get in the way of energizing the segment of voters who need to start carrying the torch.

Kennedy is 37. That’s a little too wet behind the ears for some including me at this juncture. Maybe 10 years from now would be about right if he developed a following and convinced enough people he was a worthy candidate apart from his Kennedy bloodline.

In the meantime, I’ll be hoping Ms. Harris has it in her to make a run in 2020.

Don’t give away your power

This blog post is actually about counseling.  In no way am I an expert, but after 12 years as a client, I feel somewhat qualified to make a few  comments on the subject.

I don’t intend to go into my personal life or the personal lives of family members, but I think I can share a few nuggets of wisdom that I learned along the way.

In retrospect I see my divorce in 2008 as a win-win.  She’s met someone who I like a lot and I think is a perfect match for her.  I’ve done the same.  It was really tough but after 27 years we had to face it.  It wasn’t working.  We got married too young.  We are different people at the core.  We’re human and humans make mistakes.  We consider ourselves lucky in that this one turned out pretty good for everyone.

15 years into the marriage we entered counseling.  In the process I feel a little bit like the blind man who had surgery and was suddenly able to see.  There were a few aha moments that changed my life for the better.  For that, I have very grateful.

One of them had to do with people connections.  Not just acquaintances, real people connections.  One day you’re thinking that you’ve got it all going pretty smooth.  Shoot you’re the Vice President of Little League Baseball.  You’re a manager at a high tech company.   Everyone knows you.   Next you realize your life consists of mostly acquaintances where you’re not really connected on a deep level in any way at home or at work.  That one was hard.  Very hard.  Life changing.

Another one was humility.  She was just so gentle with the message too.  I don’t even recall what I was talking about at the time but she interrupted me and asked “Where’s the humility in that?”  In the moment I was taken aback.  I couldn’t answer.  It didn’t make any sense.  I was brought up to see the value in humility and if anything, my parents’ capabilities and intelligence were understated.  Where did I go wrong?  I think I know the answer and it’s not really important to this blog post, but be that as it may, I learned a dose of humility goes a long way and have tried to be a different person ever since.

When someone figures you out at a deep level like this, I think there’s a danger of elevating their words to a level that’s not healthy.  They are just humans too.  They make mistakes.  But somewhere along the way I became more of a disciple than a client.   And in her own way she recognized this and corrected that line of thinking too.

Basically what she said was, “Don’t give me that power.   I don’t know everything.  You don’t need me anymore.  You can do this yourself.  It’s all in here.” And then she put her fist over her heart.

Truth be told, I think I wanted the dependency at the time.  But she was spot on.  It is in there.  We don’t need to give up our power to other people who are the experts.  They are just people.  Sometimes (not always) what we need to do is to dig deep.

Counseling is a tricky business.  I’ve talked to several.  Only 1 or 2 have made a difference so it can be hit and miss.  It’s one of those things where you really have to go with your gut.  I can attest to life changing moments that were worth every penny.  I can also attest to at least a dozen appointments that were a complete waste of time and money.

I can also say that there’s something to be said for just manning up and owning your own stuff and not looking outside for guidance.  You can’t buy your way out of it.  How do I know this?  Because I learned the hard way.

My takeaways?  You can’t take it with you.  People don’t care what titles you hold.  Live in the moment as much as possible.  Enjoy your friends and family while you can.  And don’t get too big of a head on your shoulders.  When we reveal our humanness with our flaws and all, people are actually drawn to that more.

My $.0.2