The Many Faces of Christianity

What follows is a chapter from my upcoming book “It’s Complicated, Isn’t It?”

“You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”                            — Anne Lamott

I had a discussion with a Catholic family member. I made an observation: isn’t it odd that we have Catholics with such wildly disparate doctrinal views, all under the same roof? On issues like abortion, gun control, the need for a social safety net — same banner of Christianity, opposite ends of the spectrum.  His reply to me, in a nutshell, was “that’s expected.” I completely understand his point because after all, we’re dealing with human beings at the end of the day.

But I can’t help wanting to dig deeper, because the gap has widened significantly just within the decades of my own life. And in keeping with the theme of this book, I don’t think the issue is that simple. First, the what. I’m going to use Catholicism as the example in this case because that seems to be the easiest example to work from. But the issue isn’t unique to Catholicism, which I will address in the paragraphs that follow.

Catholics today draw their sense of what it means to be a good Catholic from a variety of sources. There’s the parish priest, the messages from Rome — but there’s also a plethora of high-profile political and media figures who wear the Catholic label and shape the thinking of the faithful in their own image. Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Stephen Colbert are Catholics, for example, and by all accounts, faithful ones — regular at weekly Mass, and sincere about living out Jesus’ message to support the downtrodden. I wouldn’t call them social justice warriors, but they lean that direction. And they seem far less concerned with Church doctrine — its stance on abortion, on LGBTQ rights — than with simply trying to live by the golden rule.

Then there’s the far-right wing of Catholicism, which includes media figures like Laura Ingraham, Bill O’Reilly, and Newt Gingrich, and Vice President JD Vance. Under the same umbrella we have people with enormous influence who are more aligned with the hardline doctrinal positions coming out of Rome — the more hardline the better.  Then there’s Bill Donohue of the Catholic League, who also has ties to the Heritage Foundation. Donohue holds no official Church position, yet he’s become a vocal media presence for the hard right of Catholicism — staunchly pro-life, a critic of same-sex marriage and LGBTQ visibility in public and civic life, and reliably first in line to minimize clergy sex-abuse accusations.  

Where the first group reaches for mercy, this group reaches for order.  

All of these people claim the Catholic label, and all of them are presumably sincere, yet their worldviews are from different planets. So what does it mean if “Catholic” contains both the cable-news culture warrior and the humble servant, and they agree on almost nothing that the faith supposedly implies? On Sunday they all check the same box. Monday through Friday they broadcast opposing gospels.

In trying to figure out the why, I have come up with the following. First, the way we consume news has changed radically since when I grew up. In the 1960s and ’70s, most of us got our news from three networks — ABC, CBS, and NBC — and they weren’t that different in their messaging; there was a good faith attempt at even-handedness. There was no internet or social media to contend with. Today, people get their news from a wide variety of sources, very few of which try to stay above the fray. Consequently, the voting populace gets a steady diet of one-sided news with little counterbalance. Watch MSNBC and you get Stephanie Ruhle’s left-wing view of world events; watch Fox News and you get Laura Ingraham’s. Both professed Catholics, complete with ashes on their foreheads on Ash Wednesday, delivering opposite messages. And these aren’t just policy differences over big government versus small government. We’re talking about foundational moral questions — school lunch programs, gun laws, immigration, the death penalty — where each camp is utterly certain the same Gospel is squarely on its side.

The second reason I have come up with has to do with the fact that the parish priest is now competing with 24/7 news outlets and a barrage of social media that facilitates a constant discussion about what social policy should and shouldn’t be. The priest gets one Mass a week, of which only about fifteen minutes is a sermon for messaging. There’s no way his message can compete with the other sources, which are ingrained into our daily lives like water and air.


My third and final root-cause explanation is outlined best by biblical scholar Dan McClellan, when he explains that Bible texts have no inherent meaning and no consistent message. Scripture is a mirror, not a map. Readers find in it whatever they carried to it. One group of Catholics can focus on the texts that speak of order, borders, tradition, and authority, and find their “be a good person, and don’t tread on me” message there. The other group can focus on welcome the stranger, feed the poor, blessed are the peacemakers, and find their message there. Both groups are drawing from the same well, and each is sure it got the pure water. Religion ends up being a tool to bless a conclusion you’ve already reached. It gets used as a blunt instrument for tribal and political ends.

And it cuts both ways, which is the part that keeps me honest. The conservative Catholic subscribes to Rome on abortion but wants little to do with its teaching on immigration, refugees, or the death penalty. The progressive Catholic does the reverse — devoted to the social gospel, but happy to part ways with Rome on sexual ethics. Nobody is actually obedient. Everyone keeps the doctrines that fit and quietly sets down the ones that don’t, and then calls the other side the bad Catholics.


Lest I spend my days critiquing Catholicism with a list of grievances, there’s more to the story. Catholics are just a small subset of a much wider ecosystem that weaponizes biblical teachings to advance an agenda — and in many ways they’re far less guilty of it, because Catholicism was never built on biblical literalism to begin with. Where many Protestant sects treat scripture as the sole, self-interpreting authority, Catholicism has always run on a different paradigm entirely: Church tradition, the authority of the Pope and bishops to say what a verse actually means, and centuries of treating the Bible more like a book of symbolic stories rather than an owner’s manual. The Bible is authoritative, but it isn’t read like a legal document — and that alone should complicate any claim that “the Bible says so.”

In 1998, the Southern Baptist Convention passed a “Resolution on the Moral Character of Public Officials.” It affirmed that a leader’s private morality matters to God and should matter to voters, warned that “tolerance of serious wrong by leaders sears the conscience of the culture,” and urged Americans to “elect those officials and candidates who, although imperfect, demonstrate consistent honesty, moral purity and the highest character.” It passed overwhelmingly. Everyone understood the target: Bill Clinton, mid–Lewinsky scandal. Character counted, the Convention said, and it mattered to God.

In 2011, the Public Religion Research Institute asked whether a public official who commits an immoral act in private life can still behave ethically in office. Thirty percent of white evangelicals said yes. By 2016 — same question — seventy-two percent said yes. A 42-point swing, the largest of any religious group, arriving precisely when it was their own side’s candidate whose character was in question. Nobody repealed the 1998 resolution. Nobody announced a change of heart. The principle just quietly evaporated the moment it became inconvenient.

I can’t think of a better example to support McClellan’s claim that religion is used as a tool, not a compass, than this one.

If someone walks up to me today and says “I’m a Christian,” it doesn’t tell me much. I have to use my best restraint to hold back my snarkiest response: “Traditional or Republican Jesus?” All of which is to say — no, Christianity isn’t simply explained. It’s quite complicated.

ICE at the Super Bowl

This ought to be interesting.

On February 9th, the Super Bowl will feature the Seattle Seahawks vs. the New England Patriots. In less than two weeks, two teams from two very liberal cities will play each other for the NFL title at one of the most left-leaning metropolises in the United States. Approximately 75,000 people will make their way to Levi Stadium in the Bay Area on Super Sunday. After the tragedies in Minnesota, I don’t think the good people of California, Washington, or Massachusetts are going to be in the mood to put up with ICE agents milling around the premises, searching for people with the wrong color of skin or accent. Yet Kristi Noem thought the Super Bowl presented a real opportunity to send her crackpot team of Proud Boys on a people-hunting safari.

The first problem Homeland Security has is that people no longer take ICE agents seriously. Since most of the recruits look like they couldn’t run a mile in under 15 minutes if their life depended on it, have no training in police work, and give off a strong vibe of societal dropouts, they are seen as the equivalent of Mall Cops in fake Army garb.

My guess is that if ICE starts hassling ticket holders for no apparent reason, they will be met with serious resistance and seriously outnumbered. GTFOH!

I don’t see this ending well for ICE. It’s kind of like throwing a party and then the Pharaohs decide to show up to crash it, only you have 75,000 people on your side.

Should We Let Fear or Conscience Motivate Us?

On January 7th, Renee Nicole Good’s life was taken by ICE officer Jonathan Ross. She was shot in the face while driving her Ford Explorer, trying to exit a hostile scene in Minnesota. Republicans couldn’t wait to get booked on news channels so they could spread the “Obey in Advance” message that aligns with their keeping people in fear strategy. The problem is, fear doesn’t work. It never has. The event sparked protests across the country, rivaling those of George Floyd and Trayvon Martin.

The citizens of the United States, in general, can protest without too much fear, but there are exceptions. That could change, though, depending on how far Republicans and the Supreme Court are willing to allow the Trump administration wage their war on people of color. As ICE raids more cities and our friends and neighbors are kidnapped from their schools and homes, there will be more and bigger protests. Bank on it.

The people of Iran, however, do live in fear. In the past month, it’s estimated that between 2,400 and 3,400 people have been killed in the Iranian regime’s crackdown on protests. Yet we see women throwing their hijabs in bonfires and dancing in the streets. That is courage. Everything to lose and no fucks left to give. My hat is off to them.

The thing is, fear works until it doesn’t. I have a nasty habit of relating everything back to religion, but it’s relevant in this case. Growing up, we’re taught to fear hell. The message is behave, or else! Youth are exposed to the idea of a fiery place where they’re being burned alive for eternity with no cookies and no Xbox. If that’s not an incentive, then I don’t know what is. But it only works as long as you believe the threat. Once the idea of a place like hell seems a little fishy, then fear of it no longer applies. It’s the same thing with protests in the United States and Iran. At some point, enough people get out in the streets and say, “We dare you to come get all of us.” The reward of gaining what you’re protesting for makes the risk of joining others in the protest worth it.

My siblings and I were raised in the Catholic tradition. For me, this included five years in parochial school. It was the full enchilada—Church, School, and Parish life, all reinforced at home. In grades 1-3, the message was more aligned with fear. In no uncertain terms, there was this omnipotent God out there, who could get mad and destroy things, even entire civilizations, if he didn’t like how things were going. And if you dared break any of the 10 Commandments, it’ll be eternity in hell for you. In retrospect, it was only a reflection of the fear and pestilence narrative from the Old Testament, but we didn’t know that at the time. We chose to obey in advance, if for no other reason, to keep the peace. The problem is that as kids get closer to the age of reason, many say, “Wait a minute! I’m not sure I buy into this eternity in hell narrative,” and the fear-factor strategy loses its effectiveness.

Catholicism has a well-deserved reputation as a religion heavily steeped in the guilt factor. I experienced this firsthand. It comes into play when the education system begins to focus on matters of conscience. So instead of talking about hell to get you to behave the way they want, they might ask, “How is your conscience doing following your nasty behavior towards John on the playground?” Of course, we would drop our heads and say, “Not so good.”

But here’s the thing. Instilling a conscience in students can be an effective tool for a person for an entire lifetime. Maybe Catholicism went a little overboard with it, but I’m glad they finally shifted away from the fear factor and onto another message I could actually relate to. Be considerate. Other people’s feelings matter. Don’t be a pig. And if you don’t, you should feel guilty! Not because God is going to send you to a fiery place, but because you want to be a good human being, don’t you? Don’t you?

When I used to interview candidates for jobs at a former employer, we tried to look for people who weren’t job hoppers. We were about to make an investment in a new hire, and the investment doesn’t pay off unless the person can actually use the training we’ve invested in them and move the ball forward for the company. If I liked a candidate enough, I’d probe a little into their background to see whether they had more long-term interests and might stay a while. Of course, they can lie, and the company would have no recourse, but I played this one straight up. I would just make a statement to appeal to their conscience, but in a humorous way. “We really like it when candidates work out and stay a few years, and that’s what we would hope from you. Of course, every employer is at-will, and you can do whatever you need to, but if you were to leave, we would want you to feel guilty [usually laughs].” Nothing threatening about it, just appealing to your good sense of a fair deal.

Sadly, the conscience strategy has no chance with the Trump administration because they don’t have one, so we have to fight their egregious, racist, greedy policies with activism and resistance, and then vote people in at all levels who have a conscience.

Conquerers Beware

This mystery of who killed JFK still remains unsolved. The Warren Commission concluded that Oswald acted alone, but some believe that Oswald’s connection to Cuba was more than a coincidence. JFK did attempt to invade Cuba in the now infamous Bay of Pigs incident.

If anything were to happen to Trump, the right-wingers would love nothing more than to blame it on a woke liberal with Trump Derangement Syndrome. Odds are, though, that if there were to be an unhinged assailant, it’s far more likely to be a nut-case from his own party. You don’t have to look any further than the incident that nicked Trump’s ear in Wilkes-Barre, PA, or Utah Valley University and Charlie Kirk’s unfortunate demise to find examples of disgruntled MAGAs with a gun and an axe to grind.

As recently as yesterday, Trump, having visions of grandeur, waxed poetically from Air Force One about taking over Colombia, Cuba, Greenland, Iran, and Mexico, in addition to his recent ‘capture’ of Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro. Greenland wasn’t a huge surprise, as he’s shared his unfiltered thoughts about a hostile takeover there in the past, but the others on the list are new territory for him.

The problem for right-wingers, then, is that once your leader threatens over eight percent of the world’s population with hostile takeover, it will be much harder to blame it on a bleeding heart liberal in your own country. The Secret Service would be wise to hire more personnel to keep an eye on Pelé (that’s what his caddies call him, because he kicks his golf ball out from behind trees), lest he suffer the same fate as the guy who pissed off Castro.

The Affordability Crisis

James Carville famously quipped, “It’s the economy, stupid.” We know that the Biden / Harris ticket took it on the chin for the price of eggs. That’s why democrats would be wise to latch onto the latest catch-phrase, “The affordability crisis”, and make it a party platform message until republicans are so sick of hearing it that they run for cover. They should repeat those three words 20 times a day, every day, running up to the midterms.

Trump likes to pretend there’s no problem, but the grocery bill doesn’t lie. Everything is up, and there’s no relief in sight. Outside of the kitchen table, everything else is up too. The tariffs have increased the price of cars, clothes, furniture, appliances, and lumber, just to name the biggest hitters. And then there’s health care. Premiums have skyrocketed to the point of pricing people out of insurance entirely, and they haven’t even cancelled the Affordable Care Act yet.

So keep saying those three special words, my friends. The affordability crisis. They don’t like to hear it, but they can’t deny it. It’s a winning strategy, and besides, what goes around comes around.

The Thrill is Gone

I believe we are about to see karma come full circle. Donald Trump has used people his entire life. Many have gone bankrupt in servitude to the teflon Don. Michael Cohen was useful until he wasn’t. Rudy Giuliani got taken to the cleaners for his association with Trump, and Trump hasn’t helped him one iota. So long as they provided him with some benefit, they got a seat at the table. Once the benefits stop, you’re out.

Trump is under the illusion that his populist movement has been successful. What he doesn’t realize yet is that Peter Thiel, Sheldon Adelson, Harlan Crow, and Ken Griffin have been using him. While he’s been useful to the mega donor class and the Republican Congress, they have looked the other way and put up with his tantrums.

What is going to be interesting in the next year is to see how long it takes for the mega donors and Republicans to throw Trump under the bus. He’s already a lame duck. If he’s as ill as what our eyes are seeing, he could be subjected to 25th Amendment treatment at any time. You can bet that the people holding the purse strings have been thinking strategically for some time now, and that there’s no way they are going to go down with the ship.

I think he’ll be out in ’26, assuming he lives that long. The MAGA movement has run its course. The thrill is gone.

Food Insecurity

Because ridding the United States of Obamacare isn’t enough for Republicans and the Project 2025 folks, SNAP benefits are expiring in most states this week. Now you can get sick and be hungry at the same time. While I abhor the cruelty, I love the strategy of the Republican party. Can you say self-mortification?

Meanwhile, Elon Musk was able to secure a staggering one trillion dollar package from Tesla shareholders, should he meet certain targets. How long can this shit go on?

Shutdown Denial

Tuesday was a great day for Democrats, but let’s not overplay our hand. It’s true the margins were better than expected, but keep in mind, Republicans stepped in dog shit every day for 9 months and kicked 20 own goals and still came within 10 points in some races. That’s not saying much.

I take some consolation in the fact that they are slow learners. They seem to be intent on driving that ’66 Thunderbird right off the cliff with a lunatic at the wheel, even though the consequences clearly hurt red states more than blue states. Go figure. I’m an advocate for bringing on the pain. Let the ACA premiums double. Let the SNAP benefits expire. Let the airports shut down. Republicans will take the blame for it, and they know it.

All of this was because one man was mad that Obama had an accomplishment to his name and was determined to do everything in his power to end it.