Unconditional Mom

My parents have both passed away and I think about them often.  It’s interesting to think back about how the relationships change.  I think in some ways this mirrors how we grow as individuals over time.   In the case of my Mom, there was significant change for both of us.  Towards the end I think Mom and I had a harder time relating to one another since we were practically polar opposites on the political spectrum.  I remember returning home to Oregon from Arizona a few times thinking to myself “who is this person?”  It didn’t diminish how I felt about her at all.  And here’s the reason why.  Perhaps you too can relate.

When I was a kid, I’d have my usual bad days like everyone.  Could have been that I did poorly in a class, was having trouble with a friend, or perhaps a family member was not happy with something I had done.  Doesn’t matter what it was, the point is, you’re a kid and you think the situation is hopeless.  You feel totally defeated because nothing is going your way.  Your hopes and dreams seem completely shot.  What do I have?  Who is on my side?  Who loves me?  There are those moments.  I think we all had them.

The thing I remember most about Mom is that when I was down at my lowest point, she was the one there with a hug and words of encouragement every single time.  Everyone else could be all negative or indifferent about what I was going through, but she was not.  She was my last, and sometimes it felt like my only, line of support that affirmed I had some self-worth and whatever it was would be over soon. No matter what I did, she didn’t seem to care in that moment.  She was wise in the sense that knowing a heart-felt connection of love was not condoning whatever mess I was in.  It was simply, unconditional love and let me tell you, that’s a very powerful thing.  If you have children, they need that sometimes.  I don’t know how my life would have turned out differently had I not had that.  All I know is that I’m glad I did and I hope every kid gets the same benefit.  And that no matter how different Mom and I were in the end, it doesn’t matter.  This is how I choose to remember my Mom.

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