2025 Year in Review

Posted on December 18, 2025 by billtoner1960

In 1985, when I lived in Marysville, Washington, my good friend Dave Aldrich sent out his annual Christmas letter. A Berkeley grad, activist, and FDR Democrat, Dave was convinced that Republicans have been working to unravel the New Deal since it was enacted. Needless to say, he was not a fan of the Reagan Administration at the time.

In his annual holiday letter, Dave went on a two-page, nonstop, political rant about everything that was wrong with the country, railing against Republicans using George Will-level vocabulary, and then signed it “Merry Christmas.” It was the funniest Christmas letter I have ever received.

I’ve often been tempted to steal his idea, but there’s no way I could ever match his wit or vocab, so I’ll just admit up front that, after the cruelty I witnessed in 2025, I seriously considered it.

I’m thankful that I don’t need to, because for those who reached this site via a link from me, I’d be preaching to the choir. It was encouraging to see you out at the protests. Keep up the good work. We all know the assignment.

Other than living in Orwellian times, there were a lot of positives to share about this past year.

To say that retirement is agreeing with Donna and me might be the understatement of the year. We are both thriving. After spending the first couple of years in retirement getting health issues out of the way, we feel we’re engaged in fulfilling activities independently and with friends, family, and each other. We appreciate the freedom that comes with being retired and don’t take it for granted for one second.

Donna joined the Dahlia Society and is learning how to fill the yard with … more dahlias. There’s a lot more to it than meets the eye. Some people are really into it. They have shows and competitions with people judging dahlias that cost hundreds of dollars… for a flower. Donna isn’t like that. She just wants to learn how to make our little plot of land beautiful with dahlias and meet like-minded people. She’s been able to spend more time in the shop doing her art projects. Bold ideas are starting to surface. We’ll keep you posted.

Donna’s mom, Janet, turned 95 this past year and is requiring more care than in the past. We’re thankful that she’s agreeable in her environment, and that the staff at her care center enjoys her. Donna has reached full stride as a sports fan this past year. The very thought of March Madness brings her immense joy. She’s now an avid viewer of sports on television, especially when it’s playoff time. When I look at our shared calendar, all the Duck games and times are already listed. Her golf game gets better every year, and the sports attire section of her closet is growing. I picked the right wife.

I spend my days making difficult decisions among my seemingly endless list of hobbies. I’m still involved in sports officiating (added volleyball to the mix this year), get out for some golf, walk with my buddy Dan, and am still writing the same book I wrote about last year (It’s Complicated, Isn’t It?”). It’s a work in progress. The more I write, the more I discover. I spent considerable time in the music studio this year, recording songs and putting them out on YouTube (William Toner).

Our travel schedule included exotic destinations like Seattle, Neskowin, Port Townsend, and Altoona, Washington. We have adopted a ‘short getaway’ strategy that fits well with our lifestyle and retirement budget. We try to pick places where we can bring Pickles because Pickles is spoiled, and snorts if we leave her at home.

I helped my son Robby build a shed this past year from a set of plans he bought online (see pics). Those who know me know it wasn’t work, it was all fun. I love building stuff, though I’m far from being a pro. What we didn’t know, we figured out. Emilia helped by adding artwork to the project with her felt pens. Rob and Ariana thought it might even be too helpful.

Two days ago, we welcomed Nicholas William Toner into the family. Proud parents Dan and Emily are now a family of five, complete with 3 car seats in the back. We really enjoy hearing what comes out of the mouths of babes. It’s hard work raising a family, but when the kids crack you up with what’s on their mind, it’s all worth it. When we see Gwennie and Ellie, they never disappoint.

We are looking forward to seeing Kelli and the boys at Christmas and learning about their football season. Kaden graduates this year, and Karter is a Freshman. We are very proud of the young gentlemen they have become. Sports fanatics and good students. What more could you want?

With that, in no particular order, I leave you with some memories from 2025.

Masking Tape Whiffle Ball

Posted on April 25, 2025 by billtoner1960

The following is an excerpt from my book “It’s Complicated, Isn’t It?”

As a pre-teen, I remember being able to be laser-focused on an activity — so tuned in that I couldn’t fathom anything outside being present in that moment. My brain was completely locked. I would be so zeroed in on my mission that I wouldn’t have noticed Raquel Welch right next to me in a string bikini. I might ignore a bowel movement for as long as was physically possible… and then some. This level of concentration presented a problem for my parents and the mandatory Church requirement.

Living in the burbs of Southeast Portland, we didn’t have any place to play hardball in the immediate neighborhood. That would have meant a trip to the park or nearby field. This prompted my friend Scott to devise an ingenious innovation — a masking tape whiffle ball. Scott was younger than I by a year, but we shared a love of baseball and were both very competitive.

One Sunday morning, with nothing better to do, I wandered down to the neighbor’s house to find Scott experimenting with wrapping some masking tape around a whiffle ball. Depending on how the ball was wrapped, you could get the ball to curve about 3 feet from pitcher to batter. It turned every pitcher into Bert Blyleven faster than you could say, “I whiffed yo ass.” There were no special seems to grip, no wrist turning, nothing. All you had to do was throw the whiffle ball at the batter, and it arced like Halley’s Comet. It might even drop a foot or two. It was magical. And with the extra weight of the masking tape on the ball, (if you manage to make contact), every batter was now Jim Thome. That thing would sail across the sky in a trajectory so beautiful, it sent visions of grandeur as an MLB cleanup hitter through my mind. That is IF I could connect with the ball.

The game was pretty simple. A home run was awarded for hitting the neighbor’s driveway on the fly. Extra points if you hooked one up on their roof. Each time you hit one short of the driveway, that’s a strike. The batter racks up home runs until he strikes out. Then it was the next guy’s turn.

We had to keep a supply of whiffle balls handy because every half hour or so, we’d have to do a roof climb and retrieve our supply of whiffle balls. The old man next door didn’t like us climbing up there, but that never stopped us… we just learned to use stealthier tactics. But he didn’t like it one bit. I think we got away with it 99% of the time because his recycling bin was piled high every week with wine bottles. He and the old lady were obviously day drinkers because when he did come outside, it was usually in his bathrobe, and he clearly hadn’t shaved or showered for some time, and he sounded like Foster Brooks.

We had our favorites when it came to whiffle balls. The taping of the balls became a science lesson. Two wraps this way. One that way. Some balls would break better than others, so we used those first. There was one ball that broke so well that we got into a fight over who wrapped it.

Scott and I are deep into a whiffle ball competition, and I am into it big-time. One of the draws of the game was being able to humiliate your friend by throwing a curve ball so nasty that they looked foolish swinging and missing by a mile. Expecially if it was strike three. We could get each other to slam the bat down in disgust after missing a pitch that was flailing across the yard like a butterfly with no particular destination in mind.

If memory serves, the score was close, and I was ahead. I had worked hard at developing a set of pitches that bamboozled Scott and left him pissed off at the thought of being defeated at the game he invented. Then my sister showed up two houses down and yelled, “Time for Church.”

This simply could not be. There was no way my luck could have run so afoul that I would have to exit doing what I loved so much for the prospect of changing into my “slacks” and dressing up for an hour of church. I was dumbfounded. What did I do to deserve this? I hated the Church rule more than a toddler hates nap time. I was furious. Incensed. Fuuuuuuuuck me! But there was no way out. That was the rule.

Bill, Donna and Pickles 2023 in Review

Posted on December 18, 2023 by billtoner1960

Ho-ho-ho. Time for the annual humble-brag.

Let’s start with the good news. 2023 was great for our overall health and we are both loving retired life.

Pickles is starting to slow down just a little. She still loves her walks, her treats, and adores any humanoid instantly. She’s not satisfied until she says “hi” to everyone in the park. She’s always run with reckless abandon and it caught up to her this year when she went headfirst into a shrub and poked her right eye. It’s healing well now, but not without a fair amount of veterinary intervention. Tomorrow she gets to take her cone off. She’s excited about that.

Donna decided to get a series of 9 golf lessons at Redtail Golf Course and is striking the ball with authority these days. Just ask the guys who were trying to clear off the 3rd green at Sahalie! Just kidding, she didn’t do that, but she has hit long off the tee on some par 3’s. She got her first birdie before she got her first par which is rather unusual. I saw it myself and vowed not to let her beat me on any more holes the rest of the day.

She spends her days taking care of the garden and yard, having happy hour and other activities with friends, working on art projects in her shop and participating in a monthly music group (more on that later). We venture out together to estate sales, music events and whatever else suits us that week. Next year she’s signed up for a metalsmith class in the hopes of adding that skillset to her repertoire. She’s never at a loss for something to do.

Bill (that’s me) had a very enjoyable year in so many ways. I took a job umpiring baseball games for Lake Oswego Little League which kept me really busy from April through June. The grand finale was 7 All Star games at the District 4 Tournament for 10 and 11 year olds. I had a blast and learned a lot. During the summer I built a playhouse for the grandkids in the back yard and a few other things (see pictures). There was sawdust flying everywhere for a couple of months. Donna decked out the inside of the playhouse in her inimitable style.

I got out about once/week for some golf at Charbonneau with my buddy Glenn Smith while the weather was good. As if that weren’t enough fun for one year I signed up to referee basketball with PBOA and CYO and am now a first year referee (probationary status 1). They keep sending me paychecks so I must not suck too bad. BLEEP! WHITE 22, ON THE ARM, 2 SHOTS! It’s actually harder than it looks.

The year wasn’t all fun and glory however. We lost my cousin Mike Eady in August. Mike was a one of a kind guy. I wrote a blog post/tribute to him here. We miss him dearly. He was soooooo funny, a diehard Duck fan, and such a great writer. See a hilarious sample of his writing here.

We also lost my step brother Gary Hicks, a character if there ever was one. Gary had to deal with blindness his last year of life which was very difficult. I was able to get over there and assist him doing small things that were inconsequential to me, but made a big difference to him. Gary was my brother from another mother. I miss him and his very unique sense of humor.

Donna and I are anxiously awaiting the re-opening of the new Lake Oswego Municipal Golf Course! It’ll be an executive par 30 course, just right for us old geezers who like to get a par once in a while. No big plans for the coming year, just enjoying the hell of of not working and the anti-stress lifestyle associated with that.

On the music front, we both attend a monthly group of musicians hosted by our awesome neighbors across the street Patt and Don where we get to play a song or two to the crowd. Donna has a couple of duet partners (violin, piano) that she has a lot of fun collaborating with. We’re regulars now and look forward to our monthly “gig.” I did manage to add one recording to YouTube here.

Other than that we plan to continue to hit the estate sales because there’s no possible way we have enough stuff yet.

The Fam

On a sad note we went from having all of the grandkids around to 3/5. The Gilpin’s moved to Goodyear, AZ during the summer and headed for warmer weather. To heck with Oregon and Sherwood! We miss them and going to the GKs sporting events and other get-togethers.

The Grandkids, whoo-boy. They are growing up fast. Kaden is 15 (almost 16), a sophomore, driving and pitching JV for his high school in Goodyear, AZ and swings varsity when his team needs an extra arm. Karter is 13 and active in football and baseball and swimming in his new pool. They are the nicest boys ever. They make us proud every time we see them.

Emilia is 4 and like her dad, quite the character including back seat song critic. She played soccer this year and enjoys pre-school. We love everything about Emilia. She’s a sweetie.

Gwennie is also 4 and tried soccer this year and does dance lessons as well. She’s very focused on getting her dance routine right and does a great job. Her sister Ellie (2) as best we can tell spends a lot of time trying to keep up with Gwennie. The girls are a heavy dose of cute and going to be so much fun to watch them grow up in the coming years. Lucky us!